What should a married couple know in order to enjoy a healthy sex life? The answer focuses on following facts.
The first is the need for a positive attitude. There are still some people who think anything related to sexual intercourse is dirty, shameful, or sinful. Such an attitude produces inner confusion, for they cannot reconcile their negative ideas with the pleasurable sensations their bodies experience.
Remember that God formed man by his hand. So, with great love and deep satisfaction the Creator formed the man and woman a noble forehead, eyes sparkling with intelligence, a nose of perfect symmetry, well-formed lips, hands and feet, masterworks of anatomical architecture, and each organ and system admirable in its perfection.
These same hands which formed the rest of the human body also formed the genital organs. The Creator designed and gave form to each delicate tissue, with its intricate functioning. These organs are not a devilish invention! They were created by the hand of the Almighty with greatest skill and wisdom.
The genital organs are designed to contribute to married happiness through pleasurable intimacy. God included certain aspects of the sexual organs whose function is not only reproduction but also pleasure. If we can grasp this fact, it will help maintain a wholesome, enlightened attitude.
The second consideration involves the differences between a man and a woman in their sexual responses. First, there is a difference in timing. In general men are excited and tend to arrive at climax more rapidly than women. To be aware of this difference will help the couple to be willing to use procedures which will satisfy both. The husband has a double responsibility: he should do all in his power to stimulate his wife intelligently and creatively. He should learn to control himself as long as necessary in order to give her the necessary time to achieve satisfaction.
There is also a difference in the interrelation of the physical and emotional in the sexual response. The man generally experiences a more physical than emotional type of stimulation. His capacity to show sensitive, tender love to his wife is strengthened by the satisfaction he receives from sexual relations with her.
However, the stimulation the wife needs has a basis in the emotional more than the physical, and so does the satisfaction she experiences in sexual intimacy. Her capacity to respond depends largely on aspects of married life that give her a feeling of emotional security.
Therefore the husband should see that his wife experiences this feeling of emotional security. The wife, in turn, should recognize that the sexual satisfaction of her husband will enable him to offer her what she needs. Thus a healthy cycle of attitudes and unselfish actions is established. Each one thinks of the well-being of the other, and the result is beneficial for both and for their marriage relationship.
It is vital that both husband and wife be well informed about sexual and procreation matters. They should continue to learn how to make this aspect of their married lives increase in satisfaction. They should know the details of anatomy and physiology of the sexual organs. They should also know about the phases of the sexual act: excitation, surrender, orgasm and “afterglow.” They should know what succeeds in each phase and how to achieve satisfaction from the beginning to the end of the experience. They should make the necessary plans to provide a completely private place, free from outside pressures and interruptions, and should approach the relationship with bodies rested and clean. The husband should remember that the introduction of the penis is for the wife a pleasing experience and free of discomfort only when she has achieved adequate excitation and lubrication. To arrive at this point he should take time to stimulate her with kisses and tender caresses in various parts of her body, not immediately stimulating the most erogenous zones such as the breasts and genitals. He should not forget that caresses to these sensitive areas of the female body are successful only when she is physically and emotionally ready to receive them. Otherwise they will produce irritation and lessen the intensity of her response. This applies especially to the clitoris, a small female organ at the upper part of the vulva which, when caressed at the right time and in the right way, is the principal center of pleasure sensations in the woman.
For a couple to be understanding and creative in their relationship they need more than information and theoretical knowledge; they need to know each other really well. Each should discover what contributes to make the sex experience more pleasurable for the other. Each needs to know the tastes and preferences of the other, what is displeasing and what is uncomfortable. The couple should also look for ways to introduce something new into the relationship, something that contributes a novel, romantic touch to intimacy, as long as it is proper.
Finally, let consider God’s ideal for couple’s intimate relationship.
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